Hello all, okay well hello to the few of you that have even read anything I have posted.
I am going to do better about trying to post even if it is nonsensical stuff and not on my stories. Yes I actually have more than one story written just haven’t started posting them yet.
In any case I wanted to come left of some steam. You see I have been a very busy, busy girl since July. My favorite uncle passed in July and I missed the opportunity to go and say goodbye the week before he passed. That of course lead to feelings of guilt which I know I had no way of knowing he was going to leave us, but never the less I felt guilty. Then my Mema who is the only grandmother I have ever known went into the hospital and I was not able to go and see her which again lead to feelings of guilt. Big family drama was the reason I couldn’t be there. Someday I will tell you all about my crazy completely dysfunctional lot. But that isn’t even the end of my crazy busy life. My mom then got sick and she had a ton of doctors appointments I am not shitting you like two a week for a month straight. She is still sick this time with a severe Kidney infection that the antibiotics aren’t really working on. So she can barely get around. And then out of nowhere my dad ended up in the hospital and scared the living shit out of us all. He went to the urgent care for his foot it was swollen and so sore he could barely walk on it so I made him go to urgent care. We get there and his blood pressure is way to high like 179/110 crazy high. Well they send us back into the waiting room till a bed opens up. My dad was in a wheel chair and he passed out completely They rush him into the back and his blood pressure is now 80/0 yeah no response nothing for ten minutes we thought he had died on us. Of course he was admitted and spent three days in they’re running every test imaginable for his heart.
Oh his foot is fine he has gout. Yeah that is now the least of my worries. They made him an appointment with a doctor which he hadn’t seen one in four years or some crazy number like that. In any case he has been diagnosed with an enlarged heart, high blood pressure, gout, borderline diabetic. Yeah so can you imagine how terrifying it is for me. I am a daddy’s girl.
You would think with just that alone I would be going crazy you see, I am the only child my parents have that is still around. I have one sister in the bay area that doesn’t even speak to my parents again Family Drama there. My other sister lives in Louisiana so she can’t really be here to help. My brother lives here in town but he isn’t allowed around us because he is violent. So that leaves me to care for both my parents. My mother also is suffering from the on set of Alzheimer’s so my life is difficult.
On top of all this my boyfriend and I broke up. Now here is the funny part he was my high school sweetheart who found me after twenty years. He convinced me he has loved me all these years, that he has just been waiting on me. I was married for 13 years and have been divorced for 2, separated for 4. In any case he convinced me he loves me and just wanted to be with me. that he wanted to come out here and help me and take care of me. I am on ssi for ocd and rheumatoid arthritis. In any case like the dumbass I am I paid his storage bill for a year while he got everything together to move and be with me. He finally gets here in Feb and I am thinking relief, help, love, support you know all those things we want and need from a partner. Instead I got a man who wanted to smoke pot all day and let me pay his bills. I live on less than 800 a month and I was supporting him and myself. In any case around August I just couldn’t take it anymore and we broke up he was living in my house with my parents and I. You would think he would move out, No I had to save the money to buy him a bus ticket to get him to his next girlfriends place in West Virgina. Lucky me right!
Well so that is what has been going on in my life. Single, lonely and have way to many responsibilities to think straight but the plus side is I got a couple of hours tonight and have worked on chapter 9 of More Than Bonded so it should be up by this time next friday. I won’t swear to it though..
On other topics I have been watching a lot of the senate meeting with junior senator Ted Cruz I am liking him more and more every time he opens his mouth. I wish people would really start to question why Obama was voted into office and how he got there. I do digress though that is an entirely different post. I would scare the bejesus out of people if I let my views out at this moment.
Thank you all for letting me just blow some steam off and let out some stress.
More to follow….
Chileah by the way its pronounced ShyLee